Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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