so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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