He disabled his match.com account in front of me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Four minutes until I can fart!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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