Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
