How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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