Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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