The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
