I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
