Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
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If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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