apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
