I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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