the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
third nipple confirmed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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