i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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