He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
