question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
