so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
