yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
