Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
