i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
