cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
