your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
