The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
