is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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