So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
