I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
