I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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