She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
