Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I want her autograph on my taint
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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