Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize