i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
