I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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