I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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