I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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