Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
