i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
