I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
