Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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