I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
