On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
