He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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