Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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