xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
