i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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