Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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