OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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