i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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