just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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