Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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