next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
