you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
