I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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