Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
