Me. At least after what I've been through.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
