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I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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