I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.