just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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