the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete