bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude