Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(804): View more from Virginia

I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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(707): View more from California

i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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(520): View more from Arizona

So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.

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(61): View more from Australia

he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him

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