i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
