I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
