The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
